im using this as a test. dont judge me. my english is bad. Im writing for myself, I mean, as a way of letting things out, not with the intent of impacting someone. If you like it.. I dont care.. Is my life and I am the one living it. You're welcome to it if you just... well ,, observe.
Having said that..
what inspired me to write was Anne Frank and my therapist. Anne wasn't writing to anyone in particular... but her diary, I found it silly and clever at the same time. It is fun to think that a piece of paper is alive and always listening. It does not judge, it never goes away, it is imparcial, it does not lie, just serve you. It's the best friend! Haha... I love the idea that you can write to either you future or past self, it gives you perspective. We are always changing. "Everything stays.. but still changes" -my favorite song.
Today i went to a support group.. i had the oportunity to meet a lot of beautiful souls. It made me feel that im not alone. But at the same time i felt miserable. I tend to compare myself and this wasn't the exception. How lucky they were. I felt in great disadvantage. And I feel that i can not do anything to change that. Im talking about self reliance. I dont know how I am gonna support myself in the long run. Its overwhelming. And it makes me question.. whats the point on what im doing at all. Everyone seem to want to study what Im studying yet nobody seem to invest in the field.
Aside from that... from the labels... I saw beautiful souls... a lot like me... with struggles similar to mine... with questions that I know the answers, with hobbies that I have too. In general I felt like we connected and had a very pleasant conversation. Unlike with my fellow students that are much younger to me.. they talk talk talk but never say a thing... ugh... it's so annoying.